Hello Folks, Fans and Freaks!

Bikes! Bikers are everywhere! No, not motorcycles… but cyclists! They plow through on their dual wheeled mechanisms even through the toughest of winter days. Why do they do this? It doesn’t matter. It’s their own ‘thing’ and we have to let them do it, the same way we all drive around in warm vehickles and they leave us to it.
There is however a problem or an annoyance I will go on about for a little bit, and that problem is when I’m driving around the city and having to lean over into the oncoming traffic to make room for a cyclist who has leaned over into my lane because of cars parked on the side where the bicycle should be. (Why are so many cars allowed to park on streets where there are only two lanes, and skinny lanes at that? (If it was up to me, the cyclists would all be regulated to the sidewalks!) which leads me to todays issue.
Why we don’t have bike lanes like they do in other cities?
I spent some time in our nations Capital of Ottawa Ontario where biking is even bigger than it is here, so large in fact that a piece of the daily traveled road is blocked off every Sunday for cyclists to have their own roadly real estate. The streets share what they call “Bike lanes”. Most of these lanes are located next to the sidewalks, this means for wider roads yes, but they do in most places have narrower sidewalks. And there are strangely enough, bike lanes that traverse through the middle of the two automobile lanes. This is a city where government officials and university Professors travel on bikes to work each day, and biking has not been delegated to only the hippies or people who can’t afford cars.

I believe that it is because of the people in high power positions riding bikes that they get to have such glorious bike lanes in the city.
And if we could alleviate the stigma of cyclists being tree hugging granolas, students and poor people then maybe other folks might not look at it as a bad or Low-Class sort of thing.
If other cities in this country could get their high-powered folks to step up to the bike and peddle their bodies around, for whatever personal reason they may have, then other cities may also have a chance of getting groovy bike lanes. Another point for the bikers in Ontario is that Ontario does not have an enforced bike helmet law, this is a major reason for the surplus of bikers found scooting around. The bikers themselves do not consist of hippies trying to save the planet because their hippie friends are doing it too, no, these are highly educated people who are doing it for other reasons, fitness, saving money on using their cars (They DO own cars, they choose not to drive them) The parking has also hit the level of sky-rocketing prices in Ottawa which I’m sure is a contributing factor in this issue as well. So, lets go over this once quickly, maybe I can point out some things that could allow other smaller cities to have their own bike lanes installed…

If we stop thinking only hippies, students and poor people bike around, get that mentality out of our heads, then maybe some higher-ups will start doing it!
Helmet Laws: GONE!
Raise Parking Prices!
Install Pay-by-Day Bike racks with built in Locking mechanisms (So cyclists don’t have to carry around bulky bike locks)

But in the end, I just want cyclists to stop riding their bikes so far out from the curb that it forces us drivers to go over into the oncoming traffic. Also, stop driving in the middle as if you were a motorcycle or a car, because you are not and you will get run over.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

Hello folks, fans and freaks! (and parents too!)

Everything is made up of strategies these days. For example: M’Lady and I took her little four year old brother to his third class of Soccer. The building is an old school converted into a community recreational centre. There aren’t a great deal of kids in his class, and he is doing rather well for being a little guy. The amount of kids however in the entire building, is enough that they put vending machines in the front lobby. You need to pass by these machines, with little kids who always want stuff, to get to the gym rooms. So after much persuading (tugging, pulling, feet stomping, sad face, tears, you know… general tantrum throwing) we take a look inside the machine to see what great things he can have. We could not find one item in either machine that would benefit young children who are hard at play. The first way our stupid minds work is to try and get around the issue, “Maybe on the way out”.
What kind of sick world do we live in where we allow these companies in to try and feed our developing children chocolate bars and candy? On the way out of the gym room after class, there is another little meltdown due to these machines. These people are counting on kids to make their money, counting on kids to freak out, and for parents to be weak and give in. The candy and chocolate companies build yet more repoir with the child where they learn that freakouts will get them, perhaps more candy from the same companies later on in life, at say the supermarket, the corner store or even at school. We need to end this shit once and for all! I say we get some rocks and throw them through the windows of these machines and take all the crap out and replace it with healthy foods. Do you think they will get the message and change anything? Or do you think we’ll get in shit over it and have to replace the windows in the machines? Terrible how we let machines in to our lives to ruin them. Take the computer for example… How many of you WASTED time on that piece of shit today? Me? i’m writing something productive, (the rest of the day was wasted on here tho!)
There is a great website I must promote, it is called “STUMBLEUPON”.
Stumble lets you setup a quick user profile where the user is allowed to select a variety of topics that this website will bounce around through. Have you ever been bored and wanted to waste some time online, and you sit down at the computer and there it is… or there it is ‘isn’t’ i should say. Your mind is gone. Drawn a blank. What was I going to search for? There had been hundreds of questions you had been having all day but where are they now? Stumble will fill that void for you and assist you to live, love and laugh through your interests without you having to remember what you are interested in. Short term memory problems in people let them lead an interesting life because they never know what just happened and so things are new quite oftenly. Then they make up words.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

Hey Everyone,

Well folks fans and freaks, you may think that I make up this bullshit each week and then post it to my site. The truth is, that in “REAL” reality, and through the magick of Hollywood, I do most of my writings in bulk and then post them on a Wednesday. However… because I’m a pirate! Yarrr… I download software, movies and music all the fucking time, and I because my alter ego (iNTUiT) makes music, I wanted the new version of Cubase Studio 5. After a gruesome 9 hour torrent download I got it! It took two hours to fully install with all the addons and patches, and then at the end of it all when it came time to crack that bitch, the crack just wasn’t there… I then found the crack online, it was made by the same people who has supposedly cracked the original file. I opened it up, the screen flashed and it shut off, soon after my virus protections started going haywire and soon I could not start my computer up anymore. Everything was lost! I had about 30 stories on there for posting that I had not yet posted and so I’m back to square one on getting my surplus of writings… On a lighter note, I have now installed Windows 7 and it is AMAZING!! I highly recommend this operating system if you are a windows user.
Now, in the spirit of interactiveness, I’m going to let you people decide on what I should write about. So, drop me an email and I’ll see what I can come up with! If nobody emails me, I will probably never talk to them again, and I will continue to come up with absurd writing idears. Emails can be sent to: dr.jaycole @ gmail . com

Peace \ /
Dr.Jay Cole

Hello folks, fans and freaks!

Today’s story is in reverse; where I will attempt to tell the story of how Doctor Reverend Jason Cole came to be. Enjoy!

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The adventure is far from over but for now I am quite content with the beautiful woman who loves me and signing my name everywhere I go as Doctor Reverend Jason C. Cole.

I now patiently await the arrival of my official doctorate papers after already receiving my ordination papers from The Universal Life Church in Modesto California who offer many valuable online courses to their members.

For years I had been unknowingly writing about the study for which I now hold a degree. Metaphysics is the study of existing, and it had caught my attention while searching through The ULC’s website.
You see, I wanted more credentials because being an english teacher and signing my name as Reverend Cole was not enough for me. It had taken only three days for an actual human at the ULC to approve my ordination. I was looking at their Church because I had learned through Wikipedia that Dr. Hunter S. Thompson had aquired his Doctorate through The Universal Life Church back in the 70’s and I wanted one.

After learning more from the wiki article I was reminded of the movie staring Bill Murray titled “Where The Buffalo Roam”; Muray would take on the role of Hunter’s likeness. That along with these other great films: Breakfast with Hunter, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Depp’s documentary “Gonzo: The Life and Times of Thompson” were downloaded and watched repeatedly. I had been researching Thompson because I knew not much of the man who I considered a Hero. That all happened after I had been thinking back to my years as a jackass stumbling around drunk and high during College, and I had also seen some new pictures posted online from Halloween where I dressed as Dr. Thompson.

My Blog had been a huge success with people beginning to click around like madd on my lists of idiosyncracy’s (These are things I had observed in the past such as cleaning the house, showering, or wasting time). I had posted some of these old writings online after opening the vaults and digging them out.
Each week I have been writing something new in the Blog relating to the universe around me. At first it was a great success amongst my friends and family only. The blog came into existence after a need for an outlet because my songwriting had decreased exponentially.
Entertainment was now the strict purpose for music as I had no longer wanted it to reflect myself or my own beliefs and morals.

There was definitely a newfound dislike of the music industry brewing inside of me and I needed to sever all ties to who I really am deep inside from the character I played on stage.
All of this free time I had was spent in New Brunswick after graduating from the TESOL Course. I had needed time to re-group and figure out some life issues. I had attended the course in Halifax Nova Scotia that enables me to Teach English to Speakers of Other Languages, although I cannot teach in an institution in Canada without further degrees, I can teach private tutoring here or teach fulltime overseas.

“Oh. Thanks friend, and I’m not acting!” a stumbled jargon of words loosed from my lips however vaguely discernable after one was heard remarking “Wow man! You’ve realy captured the character!”
I had been at a house party when I stumbled through a crowd of drunk and stoned freaks making my way to the kitchen to mix more pirate juice with eggnog.
The character compliments came due to my ensemble of flowered shirts, a smoke holder, aviators,
and a shaved horseshoe hair-cut in my head that was covered by a white fedora.
A few weeks earlier a friend had mentioned that I should dress as Thompson for Halloween of 2009 where I was visiting old roomates in Ottawa, Ontario.

Five years had passed and during that time I had managed to write a fiction novel and finally be content with it. Previous short stories would always wind up in a dead end or written into a corner. At first I only wrote more songs, but I had made a descision to break free from the confines of music and explore words and language with indepth writing experiments. With music, there were always many limitations and after college, iNTUiT was the only one to develop my writing skills.

My college years ended off with a project on Ralph Steadman who was Thompsons good friend and illustrator. It only made sense that I had discovered the writing works of Hunter S. Thompson during the years when I worked on building my Graphic Design portfolio along side Journalism students in college.
In my early twenties, I had found that pushing it to the brink of no-return seemed to be the way of life in my city of Moncton, New Brunswick. I was fascinated with the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and how they pushed the limits. All this because I was a musician trying to live the dream of Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll. Stage performances were done by iNTUiT, he is an alter ego I had created because I had developed a mild case of stage fright in school and the new found love of writing had been spawned from within
when a change occured, and I had started writing song lyrics during lunch breaks in high school with a good friend instead of doing artwork.

My art had gone on for years and would continue for years to come. I wasn’t like the other kids. I did not get involved in sports, or go outside very often due to a developing of asthma and allergies at an early age.
Drawing would always be a large part of my life. I went through rolls upon rolls, books upon books, and crates of looseleaf. I started drawing at the early age of three after being urged to use the equipment donated. My father didn’t have a great deal of money to take us out on adventures and imigination would take reign. Pens, pencils, and paper had been sent to my father in New Brunswick from my Grandmother during her time at the base where she had access to an abundance of stationery supplies. She worked at a military base in the nearby town of Shearwater while living in Eastern Passage, Nova Scotia until 2008 when she passed.

Thanks for the talent Nan, I know you are smiling down.
God Rest Your Soul.

Peace \ /
Dr. Reverend Jason Cole

Hello folks, fans and freaks!

Much apologies for the delay in writing. The Vacation is officially over and the grind stone is inching its way nearer to my nose with every breath that is exhaled from these recently un-potted lungs. No, it’s not a new years resolution, I don’t make those. I have however in the last month stopped smoking weed all day every day, and now only have a puff now and then during social gatherings. I have stopped craving it naturally as a great deal of joy has entered my life and replaced what the sweet sweet cheeba could only try to imitate. I’m talkin bout Love baby!

It has been a great year! 2009 will be remembered as the year I grew up and came into my own. Old back-monkeys were shed, new friends were made, new healthy lifestyle choices were made, schooling accomplishments, excellent adventures through the wilderness, old friendships rekindled and a great deal of personal growth. Let’s have 2010 be just as active, challenging and interesting with all the latest options out there!
As for now, I’m still in Halifax! Life is strange and it throws you a curve sometimes, and this time they are sexy curves! In an effort to keep these twists and turns on the up and up, I’ll be focusing on the grande hustle this year. There are goals of records to be released, writings to get published, and a trip to Mexico!
Christmas was great! (2k later!) I spent it with my sweetheart and her family in The Valley and then rocked a show at The Cage in Moncton, NB on Boxing Day after visiting with my Mom in Shediac.
New years eve was spent looking fabulous, dressed to the nine, at Victors on Spring Garden! What a great bar! I love it there, I’m sad to say that we left after the countdown and stumbled over to The Coconut Grove (an entire wall of mirror is only cool in a strip club! Get that shit outta there!)
This leads me to todays rant, what is up with these bars in town who move in, give it a new name, and then do NOTHING for the decor? Why can you move into a place and leave it the same old grubby way it always was and promote it as a “New Bar” in town?
I’m rather pissed about it, as well as the lack of constant upgrades this city has. Why does nothing change? These bars and pubs and clubs are staying around for a long time and they are raking in the cash, yet nothing get updated inside of the venue. Why not upgrade the stages and sound systems and the decorations on a regular basis like they do in other cities? My guess would be that greed is a factor. Greed seems to be the main factor in why anything sucks these days. It is why our food is over sized, juicy and colorful but has no nutrients, it is why our healthcare system only looks at the symptoms and not the causes and why our neighbors don’t smile anymore. Greed is ruling this world in a way that has never been seen before. But what happens when just one man has all of the eggs in his one large basket? Will money be worth anything anymore if nobody has any? Can we then start to trade grains of sand from the beach instead? We’ll carry around satchels on our waists with grain counters on our belts and purchase our smoke and brew with dirt as money will not be worth anything once it’s all gone. Has this always been the point of money, to get it all? Like Pokemons? Or will we start sharing again and lend our hands to our neighbors with no questions asked or thoughts of what they might do for us later on? If we just all help one another, all the time, we would always be helping, and we too would always be getting help. Imagine if only the people in your own apartment building or on your own street would help each other with one thing today, there would be a “Helping Time” set aside each day of the week the same way they have “Siesta’s” in other parts of the world when the sun is too hot to do anything. Those people get the same amount accomplished as we do, yet we are forced to work through the sleep time and fight the tiredness.
Anyone interested in helping should start right away, go knock on a door and see whats cookin in the next room over or across the street. This will also open up our communities and we can start to trust one another again. I keep hearing stories about the street my father grew up on where 20 kids in the neighborhood would be at his place each night after homework; and when parents looked out the window and saw that their child was not fighting with a sibling on the front lawn, they knew they were wrestling with my father and uncles on their front lawn or relaxing down in the basement. Let’s bring back these times! Let’s start community living all over again. The whole “grow as an individual” thing is being promoted constantly these days, and that’s great, we should all be individuals, but let’s also grow together.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

Bass Rebel Radio on CKDU! 88.1 FM Dalhousie

Off Air Programming Requirements, Security Check, CRTC Codes, Program Logs and this particular night they were required by SOCAN to play 35% of Canadian content. Who are ‘they’ you might ask? Strange creatures of the dark who come out only at dusk like flies to lights as they hover over illuminated LCD screens and LED lit vinyls. They play this weird music referred to as “Drum and Bass”. It is known to give listeners brain tumors. The tumor will not explode in a bloody alienesque outburst unless the infected continue to listen to a daily dosage of, more Drum and Bass. i’m afraid that i too have fallen victim to this outer-worldly parasite, and must consume two to three jungle tracks per day to keep the tumor at bay. The show went on for what seemed like days, months or even years may have passed for the continual stirring of sound never ceased. Freedom Danish, The Root Sellers, Harmsworth and the host DVD would each take turns spinning a few songs. When one of those odd looking fellows was done, an equally or more odd looking fellow would blend in his tunes. The tracks would merge into one another with weird noises, horns, sirens and glitchy sounds whilst millions of drum hits fell ever so eloquently into place creating this incredible medley of the old and the new. Classic noises from shit like MC Hammer were heard, while they also tossed in their own new creations. These dj’s would be standup gentlemen were it not for having sex with underage girls and selling them drugs while working undercover for the police at the local high school. They are rotten evil bastards, but they rock some deliciously empowering songs people!

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

It was myself, along with two good friends, one from Toronto the other from Shediac. They were each some form of house demons who rarely leave the confines of their home in New Brunswick, however they took precautionary measures and managed to travel this weekend to Halifax for the King Sunshine show at the Paragon on Saturday, and to also see comedian Dean Cook on Sunday. After a great meal at Your Father’s Mustache with a live band the three of us took a cab from the Delta Barrington to Cogswell Street where we attended a pre-drink party at another friends place.
My pirate juice was drunk straight from the bottle, shared with a beautiful blond haired vixen, and so began the insanity. A bald headed freak tossed me a handful of multicolored pills that i crammed into my pocket for later. We walked down two or three dirt ridden streets until Gottingen where the Paragon is located. I have not seen this newly renovated bar since its heyday several years ago when it opperated as The Marquee/Hells Kitchen. I entered the bar, i was not searched or patted down so the drugs in my jeans were safe for a bit longer. The bar was dark, purple walls and green ceilings rang through my mind as i spun around in circles trying to find my entourage who had already made their way to the bar for refreshments. I soon found them and purchased more pirate juice for me and the lady, we took a handfull of pills and hit the dance floor. The opening band, something fish, they were okay, good at playing instruments, but there was something missing, soul and vibes. Just because you know how to do something, doesn’t mean you can do it good! The opening DJ, a good friend of mine, Mizz Maxine was amazing! She really got the people jumping and dancing where the previous band had most of us at the tables waiting for the bad noise to be done with.
I shouldn’t talk about the bands so much when this review is for the venue, however, King Sunshine rocks my ass like 4 weel drive! Trumpets, Horns, Saxophones! Female Vocals! Great vibes, enough soul to fill all of heaven twice over and a stage presence that rivals no other! There were so many of them on stage, probably 15 of them, no fancy gimmicks here, no, they dressed in regular humble attire and let the music speak for itself. I stumbled over to the merch table that i found was unattended. A variety of cd’s, shirts and stickers were just there, waiting to be taken! so i took some! cd and sticker in pocket i returned to the dance floor to bust a move or two. I vaguely remember a beautiful dark haired girl about to kiss me on the cheek and so i turned and stole a lip kiss! Maybe the band saw it, maybe they didn’t but the mood changed afterward and the dirty dancing began. From this point on there was much grinding, pelvic thrusting and general air humping going around, or maybe the pills were kicking in? The band was over, the blond girl was gone, my friends were all gone and i was the only one left on the dance floor next to an old friend i have not seen in three years who immediately recognized me and freaked the fuck out! “Doctor Jay Cole! It IS you!” my buddy lamented out loud, we hugged and then punched each other in the face a few times. We shared some jokes and stories and when the lovely lady returned from where she had been back stage, we decided to blow this Popsicle stand. On the way out i began to notice all of the horrible changes that had been made to what was once the city’s greatest venue. The entire upstairs dance hall and stage had been cut in half taking the 1000person limit down to about 500 people! The basement (formerly Hells Kitchen) was blocked off and nothing was happening down there. The decor was from the likes of Ikea or some other trendy place where well-to-do yuppies shop. The drinks were running me $25.00 for two doubles, Lord knows how many i sank back. i was informed of the outrageous prices after returning the next day and blaming the staff for robbing me when i wasn’t looking. This was quite an expensive evening for a bar located in the cheaper side of Halifax, my own ‘well to do’ friends living in the South End don’t even bother to venture this far anymore, no, they stay close to home in the cold weather when they want to spend their entire pay check in under three hours. All in all, the music was good, but the venue is nothing to shake a stick at. In closing, I will probably not attempt to attend shows in the Paragon unless iNTUiT is playing at one of them! In that case i’ll change my entire story to something along the lines of: The Paragon is an amazing venue, everyone come out and support local talent while you bask in the luxurious decor of this spacious, safe environment!

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

Walkers:

i am a fast walker. i live in Canada and it’s fucking cold outside for 6 months of the year. Canada is commonplace to find people jetting around like crayzed lunaticks as we run for the bus; run for the cab; run the for walk signal; run for whatever appointment we’re almost late for because we left late due to the damn frigid temperatures! i also have long legs.
Today i decided to bundle up for the weather and since i had no time frame of where i had to be i sent a message to my legs via the brain; “Slow the fuck down!”
Here are things i noticed whilst walking slowly from the hospital to HMV on Spring Garden road.

1. People are not dressed for the weather. It’s freakin cold out so why do i see people in cardigans shuffling along ever so rudely as they push others aside with a “Get ouf of my way! its fucking cold out!” attitude as if they had no control over their body temperature today. Cover up! Problem solved, now you don’t need to be a douchebag and push the old people out of the way, old people who have learned from their mistakes and are now properly covered up for the time of year we are in.

2. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. Cold weather is not always a factor in the rush, for these same folks trudge around in their blurry tunnel visioned rat race during the warmer days as well, only there are more of them out on the street in the summer therefore slowing the crowd.
Everyday we invent things to make our lives more simple. Now i don’t have to do ‘that’ anymore, therefore i have ‘this’ much more time left for myself at the end of the day. Not true. No matter what form of time saving devices we come up with, there is still not any more time left at the end of the day. If i were to purchase a time-saving device, and show my schedule at the end of the day and how it has not improved, could i return the machine for a full refund? Return my computer or software packages? what if you returned your vehicle? i do believe there is a matter of false advertising at hand here. Enough false pretenses! Tell the truth damnit!

3. Don’t feed the Ostriches, they bite! i learned the hard way, but if you can make off with one of their eggs, it will feed your family for a month.

4. Women pushing baby strollers that take up the entire sidewalk will strut down the lane taking their sweet ass time, blocking everyone, holding up the flow. i suppose they feel some societal debt is owed them after poping out a few offspring. Maybe they are right? this leads into number five, which i was a part of myself.

5. Nobody likes a slow-walker. I was pushed, nudged, commented to, stared at, gigled at and made a complete fool of myself doing my research for this report. When i walk slow, i sort of glide along in a smooth flowing motion; unlike the drones pushing ever forward to the piece of cheese awaiting them at the end of the maze, never knowing, that it will only be ‘process’ cheese.
“Move it!”, “Hurmph!”, “Sigh!” and “Ugh!” are some of what i remember hearing after that horrible walk today. These people are zigzagging across the sidewalks like the ball in a pong game; chickens with their heads cut off; nobody has any form of order when they walk, they are like complete retards, they have one single destination in mind and everything and everyone else in between them seem to be made up of some form of obscure obseleteness. It must be like moving through a crowd of ghosts when you’re the only one alive in Hell, never worrying about any of them as actual humans, never caring if they are in your face, and then it happened, i learned why this is true.

“Hey buddy can i have some chan…” and there it was. A walk-by-begging. Again almost immediately “Hey you got a smok…” another says as he passes by in a big rush not even stopping to hear my answer. I shake my fist and turn my head away towards the street in the rudest manner possible.”No!” i blurted out,
“i don’t smoke tobacco! it gives you wrinkles!” but he was already out of range. A couple of the dark colored pea coat blurs flying past stopped for a split second, long enough for me to see their expressions of disgust that i had given out personal commentary on a public street. Who was i to enact my freedome of speech in this city, and who was i to be walking so god damn slowly? Could it be that these walk-by-beggars are the reason everyone is in their own personal ipoded ‘zone’. Do they not want to deal with the harsh reality that walks past them in their own city? When i finally made it to HMV, i spent a good half hour scouring their cheap, foreign and underground indie films, during which the entire time a girl came over and pretended to ’sort’ movies from behind me on the next shelf, each time i would move to the left, she would nervously follow me.
i had noticed upon entry that there was no longer a macho superman body builder posing as a security guard this holiday season, perhaps they passed the buck down onto their lowly employees to save the buck that was previously spent on saving bucks via protection officers. Lowly employees don’t give a fuck about theft because that’s a job for security, and they start to question the sanity of their overseers.
A sales associate made eye contact with me on my way to the checkout, i was in line for only a few seconds before the same employee came rushing back for my sale. “That’s right you skinny little punk, run for my dollar!” i yelled.
“Excuse me?” he questioned
“You heard you me, you were in a rush to go that way a few seconds ago” i pointed to the back of the store
“And now you’re in a rush to get over here… make up your god damn mind”
The clerk looked at me with a wry smile and said “This movie looks good, i’ve heard great things about it”
“Sure you have!” i snapped sarcastically at the poor young lad “You people say the same thing each time i come in here!” i grabbed the case from his hand and i asked him “What’s it about?”
Panic flowed across his face like a frantic river during the spring melt.
“What?” he stuttered to save time before i made a complete fool of him.
“What, Is, The, Story… About?” i retorted.
“It’s uhmm…”
“People explode!” i yelled! “Jesus, lets get outta here Jay.”
The clerk, not understanding my schizo ways continued on his regular pace of existing.
Now at the front doors, i pause for a second to put on my gloves. i had carried my laptop case causing the knuckles to redden on my trek over here. During that brief moment, a beautiful young five foot tall blond girl flies out, nudges me aside letting out the last *Sigh* that i would hear for the day’s adventure. This entry room we were in was big enough for fat people to pass by without any disturbance. It was at this point, that i realized maybe people were only reaching out to one another for some form of sympathy or concern. Perhaps they were looking for some form of reaction from me or they sensed my inner freedome and wanted to try and shake me down to their level? More hopefully, they wanted to climb the tree i was in, and maybe live in my tree house? We shall never know the answer until i start asking some hard questions. Questions out on the street. But who, in their speedy little minds, will stop to talk to me? Not the ones i want answers from, that much is for sure.
And so tomorrow, when i attempt to get someplace in this god forsaken land of ice and snow, i will be among the groups of flyers, zoomers, jumpers and freezers as they zing along ever bitterly, and ever so heat seekingly through the maze of icey streets we call Halifax.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

The Fog!

i love the fog! this weather is amazing! for the first time in my life i can walk around with a safe feeling that the Vikings won’t find this great city of ours. The harbor is open to anyone with a boat, anyone willing to attempt an attack could easily infiltrate this city. The buildings have grown up higher than Citadel Hill, rendering its cannons useless. The navy has been dismantled and the two subs we have are no good either.
There is nothing stopping anyone from taking over, burning the villages and pillaging as they please.
We should definitely invest in a large fog machine for those bright sunny days where the landscape is illuminated, broadcasting to the whole of the Atlantic Ocean where our defenseless city rests.
I’m confident that the peace will not last. No, a Viking attack is inevitable, and when the time comes, our only hope will be the thugs and gangsters. We will turn to them for protection when our government lets us down, because lets face it, we are, the asshole of the country. The snots in Ontario can’t see past the end of their own noses, and the further westward you travel, the elitists only grow stronger. No, help will take days, perhaps even weeks before those fact cat bureaucrats in Ottawa make a move. They will have interviews and then hire a committee with a board of directors. They will hold meetings that could take weeks, secretaries and translators will need to be employed, one to organize the shit, the other to explain it to the rest of them. Oh politics, how many more people have to die before you realize that your ways are viciously outdated?
In the meantime, let’s all enjoy this wonderful protection we are receiving, free of charge, from mother nature.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole