Dear Kevin Smith,

Within your infinite creativity towards methods of releasing new films, can you please find it in your heart to invent a way, you god damn fat fuck, to bring “Red State” to Canadian theatres?

Sincerely,
Dr. Jay Cole MsD.
The Jerk Off Hour

Hello Folks, Fans and Freaks!

Dr.Jay Cole here, writing to you from the sweltering heat of Ottawa Ontario. The Humidity is INSANE! and since humidity is relative, there is no way of explaining this heat with mere words, it is truly something you must experience first hand to understand.

As a valid member of the East Coast, I have never experienced anything like this before coming to Ontario. We are basically trapped in a valley of heat. Thankfully, we have a few weeks of Music Festival to attend, drink beer, and keep cool. Yes, I am speaking of the stage toppling Bluesfest, (where only 1% of the artists are actually playin ‘the blues’)

And so, two Saturdays past, myself with DJ Sir K, attended the festivities. As you all know, Dr.Jay is a champion of ‘The Truth’ and sometimes kids, when you attend a music festival you tend to get “fucked up”. And yes, we got royally “Fucked Up” that evening.

After rolling around through the party grounds, waiting 1/2hr for Erika Badu to join the stage, listening to the weird sounds and visuals of Sphongle’s psychedelic experience, and rocking out to The Tragically Hip for the first time, we rolled our asses back home.

At this point, I thought it would be great to setup all the equipment and gear for The Jerk Off Hour ahead of time, so that I could sleep in the next day before my guest was to arrive at the regularly scheduled time of 3pm. Little did I know, I had re-scheduled the show for an earlier airtime of 12 noon! And yes, at 12 noon my guest, and hopefully still good friend Troy Neilson, was banging on my door and txting me whilst i slumbered peacefully inside, oblivious to anything from the outside world.

I woke up at 2pm that day, i had breakfast and prepared my notes for the show. 3pm came, Troy is a very punctual person and so when it was 3:15 i began to worry, i grabed my cell phone to check if Troy had msg’d me and yes, there were two msg’s from him! the first said “I’m ten minutes away!” and the second said “I’m knocking on your front door!”
I immediatly ran to the front door, swung that shit wide open, and nothing. I glanced back at the txt msg to see that it had been sent at 12 noon whilst i slumbered. Sad face.

The following Saturday… Again, with Sir K and also with Joe MacEachern, we attended more Bluesfest! This night was simple, one show, Janes Addiction. But could we stop from getting royally fucked up? Oh Hells No! Not only did we get royally blitzed at Bluesfest, but afterwards, we went to another night club in town (Because bluesfest is over at 11pm when the City’s noise curfew comes into effect)

A lady friend of Sir-K’s had invited him to this venue. We arrived at Babylon on Bank Street, one of the best bars in town if you ask me, and we went inside. At this point, I ran into an old friend of mine from last summer, Britain, and bought the lovely lady a drink, or two, i cant remember… She asked if i was here for the show, and I had no idea what show or what was happening at this place, and she explained that it was a Burlesque show with Dj’s spinning in the background. To top it all off, it was also a “No Pants Party” and so everyone was in either shorts, boxers, underwear (yes, tighty whities) and the ladies were in panties/bra’s, short shorts, short skirts etc… It was hard to tell who was a burlesque dancer on stage, and who was a regular event attendee. Needless to say… it was WICKEDBAD!

The next day we found ourselves still awake, with a sleep talking friend passed out on the couch. And so, again as 3pm rolled around, we were in absolutely NO position to be talking to anyone out there in the public realm. And trust me, the entire episode would have been all “uhhh…” and “uuummmm….” and quite frankly, we don’t want to sound like retards on the radio.

So kids, if you are going to get royally blitzed in any way shape or form the night before you have an important radio show to attend, please think twice before you lose your guests trust, and the following of your fans!

I am currently dog sitting one my favorite dogs, Indica! And so I will be kept in line and forced to live a normal, scheduled, routined life for a few days, and hopefully Indy will keep me in line! Nothing like a 200lb Rotty to do that!

This week, on Sunday at 3pm, we have Mat Archer aka BassMonk dropping in to leave us with a taste of what Ottawa has deliver on the Trance/hiphop front lines.

Also, as an important update, we will be including a “Links” section to the site, so that listeners can click on the news links and read them with us as the show happens, or, if you are a lazy asshole like myself who doesnt want to search for shit while listening to a podcast, then… great! Buy your Membership card by clicking on the banner!
intuit.wickedbad.net/internet-radio

Peace, love, and happyness-ness.
Dr.Jay Cole

Hello Folks Fans and Freaks!

Today I want to talk about my new band, Dirty Intuition. It is made up of myself, iNTUiT, and Dj Dirty Dane. We are both from Halifax representing that east coast vibe. My lyrical wisdom is put to work on this new album, exploring relationship issues I’ve had in my life while Dane pumps out the craziest Dub, DnB and Hiphop beats ever to come out of Nova Scotia!

Here is a sample of what we have made so far:

Enjoy!
Dr.Jay Cole

Hello folks, fans and freaks! (and parents too!)

Everything is made up of strategies these days. For example: M’Lady and I took her little four year old brother to his third class of Soccer. The building is an old school converted into a community recreational centre. There aren’t a great deal of kids in his class, and he is doing rather well for being a little guy. The amount of kids however in the entire building, is enough that they put vending machines in the front lobby. You need to pass by these machines, with little kids who always want stuff, to get to the gym rooms. So after much persuading (tugging, pulling, feet stomping, sad face, tears, you know… general tantrum throwing) we take a look inside the machine to see what great things he can have. We could not find one item in either machine that would benefit young children who are hard at play. The first way our stupid minds work is to try and get around the issue, “Maybe on the way out”.
What kind of sick world do we live in where we allow these companies in to try and feed our developing children chocolate bars and candy? On the way out of the gym room after class, there is another little meltdown due to these machines. These people are counting on kids to make their money, counting on kids to freak out, and for parents to be weak and give in. The candy and chocolate companies build yet more repoir with the child where they learn that freakouts will get them, perhaps more candy from the same companies later on in life, at say the supermarket, the corner store or even at school. We need to end this shit once and for all! I say we get some rocks and throw them through the windows of these machines and take all the crap out and replace it with healthy foods. Do you think they will get the message and change anything? Or do you think we’ll get in shit over it and have to replace the windows in the machines? Terrible how we let machines in to our lives to ruin them. Take the computer for example… How many of you WASTED time on that piece of shit today? Me? i’m writing something productive, (the rest of the day was wasted on here tho!)
There is a great website I must promote, it is called “STUMBLEUPON”.
Stumble lets you setup a quick user profile where the user is allowed to select a variety of topics that this website will bounce around through. Have you ever been bored and wanted to waste some time online, and you sit down at the computer and there it is… or there it is ‘isn’t’ i should say. Your mind is gone. Drawn a blank. What was I going to search for? There had been hundreds of questions you had been having all day but where are they now? Stumble will fill that void for you and assist you to live, love and laugh through your interests without you having to remember what you are interested in. Short term memory problems in people let them lead an interesting life because they never know what just happened and so things are new quite oftenly. Then they make up words.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

Hello folks, fans and freaks!

Today’s story is in reverse; where I will attempt to tell the story of how Doctor Reverend Jason Cole came to be. Enjoy!

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The adventure is far from over but for now I am quite content with the beautiful woman who loves me and signing my name everywhere I go as Doctor Reverend Jason C. Cole.

I now patiently await the arrival of my official doctorate papers after already receiving my ordination papers from The Universal Life Church in Modesto California who offer many valuable online courses to their members.

For years I had been unknowingly writing about the study for which I now hold a degree. Metaphysics is the study of existing, and it had caught my attention while searching through The ULC’s website.
You see, I wanted more credentials because being an english teacher and signing my name as Reverend Cole was not enough for me. It had taken only three days for an actual human at the ULC to approve my ordination. I was looking at their Church because I had learned through Wikipedia that Dr. Hunter S. Thompson had aquired his Doctorate through The Universal Life Church back in the 70’s and I wanted one.

After learning more from the wiki article I was reminded of the movie staring Bill Murray titled “Where The Buffalo Roam”; Muray would take on the role of Hunter’s likeness. That along with these other great films: Breakfast with Hunter, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Depp’s documentary “Gonzo: The Life and Times of Thompson” were downloaded and watched repeatedly. I had been researching Thompson because I knew not much of the man who I considered a Hero. That all happened after I had been thinking back to my years as a jackass stumbling around drunk and high during College, and I had also seen some new pictures posted online from Halloween where I dressed as Dr. Thompson.

My Blog had been a huge success with people beginning to click around like madd on my lists of idiosyncracy’s (These are things I had observed in the past such as cleaning the house, showering, or wasting time). I had posted some of these old writings online after opening the vaults and digging them out.
Each week I have been writing something new in the Blog relating to the universe around me. At first it was a great success amongst my friends and family only. The blog came into existence after a need for an outlet because my songwriting had decreased exponentially.
Entertainment was now the strict purpose for music as I had no longer wanted it to reflect myself or my own beliefs and morals.

There was definitely a newfound dislike of the music industry brewing inside of me and I needed to sever all ties to who I really am deep inside from the character I played on stage.
All of this free time I had was spent in New Brunswick after graduating from the TESOL Course. I had needed time to re-group and figure out some life issues. I had attended the course in Halifax Nova Scotia that enables me to Teach English to Speakers of Other Languages, although I cannot teach in an institution in Canada without further degrees, I can teach private tutoring here or teach fulltime overseas.

“Oh. Thanks friend, and I’m not acting!” a stumbled jargon of words loosed from my lips however vaguely discernable after one was heard remarking “Wow man! You’ve realy captured the character!”
I had been at a house party when I stumbled through a crowd of drunk and stoned freaks making my way to the kitchen to mix more pirate juice with eggnog.
The character compliments came due to my ensemble of flowered shirts, a smoke holder, aviators,
and a shaved horseshoe hair-cut in my head that was covered by a white fedora.
A few weeks earlier a friend had mentioned that I should dress as Thompson for Halloween of 2009 where I was visiting old roomates in Ottawa, Ontario.

Five years had passed and during that time I had managed to write a fiction novel and finally be content with it. Previous short stories would always wind up in a dead end or written into a corner. At first I only wrote more songs, but I had made a descision to break free from the confines of music and explore words and language with indepth writing experiments. With music, there were always many limitations and after college, iNTUiT was the only one to develop my writing skills.

My college years ended off with a project on Ralph Steadman who was Thompsons good friend and illustrator. It only made sense that I had discovered the writing works of Hunter S. Thompson during the years when I worked on building my Graphic Design portfolio along side Journalism students in college.
In my early twenties, I had found that pushing it to the brink of no-return seemed to be the way of life in my city of Moncton, New Brunswick. I was fascinated with the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and how they pushed the limits. All this because I was a musician trying to live the dream of Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll. Stage performances were done by iNTUiT, he is an alter ego I had created because I had developed a mild case of stage fright in school and the new found love of writing had been spawned from within
when a change occured, and I had started writing song lyrics during lunch breaks in high school with a good friend instead of doing artwork.

My art had gone on for years and would continue for years to come. I wasn’t like the other kids. I did not get involved in sports, or go outside very often due to a developing of asthma and allergies at an early age.
Drawing would always be a large part of my life. I went through rolls upon rolls, books upon books, and crates of looseleaf. I started drawing at the early age of three after being urged to use the equipment donated. My father didn’t have a great deal of money to take us out on adventures and imigination would take reign. Pens, pencils, and paper had been sent to my father in New Brunswick from my Grandmother during her time at the base where she had access to an abundance of stationery supplies. She worked at a military base in the nearby town of Shearwater while living in Eastern Passage, Nova Scotia until 2008 when she passed.

Thanks for the talent Nan, I know you are smiling down.
God Rest Your Soul.

Peace \ /
Dr. Reverend Jason Cole

Hello folks, fans and freaks!

Much apologies for the delay in writing. The Vacation is officially over and the grind stone is inching its way nearer to my nose with every breath that is exhaled from these recently un-potted lungs. No, it’s not a new years resolution, I don’t make those. I have however in the last month stopped smoking weed all day every day, and now only have a puff now and then during social gatherings. I have stopped craving it naturally as a great deal of joy has entered my life and replaced what the sweet sweet cheeba could only try to imitate. I’m talkin bout Love baby!

It has been a great year! 2009 will be remembered as the year I grew up and came into my own. Old back-monkeys were shed, new friends were made, new healthy lifestyle choices were made, schooling accomplishments, excellent adventures through the wilderness, old friendships rekindled and a great deal of personal growth. Let’s have 2010 be just as active, challenging and interesting with all the latest options out there!
As for now, I’m still in Halifax! Life is strange and it throws you a curve sometimes, and this time they are sexy curves! In an effort to keep these twists and turns on the up and up, I’ll be focusing on the grande hustle this year. There are goals of records to be released, writings to get published, and a trip to Mexico!
Christmas was great! (2k later!) I spent it with my sweetheart and her family in The Valley and then rocked a show at The Cage in Moncton, NB on Boxing Day after visiting with my Mom in Shediac.
New years eve was spent looking fabulous, dressed to the nine, at Victors on Spring Garden! What a great bar! I love it there, I’m sad to say that we left after the countdown and stumbled over to The Coconut Grove (an entire wall of mirror is only cool in a strip club! Get that shit outta there!)
This leads me to todays rant, what is up with these bars in town who move in, give it a new name, and then do NOTHING for the decor? Why can you move into a place and leave it the same old grubby way it always was and promote it as a “New Bar” in town?
I’m rather pissed about it, as well as the lack of constant upgrades this city has. Why does nothing change? These bars and pubs and clubs are staying around for a long time and they are raking in the cash, yet nothing get updated inside of the venue. Why not upgrade the stages and sound systems and the decorations on a regular basis like they do in other cities? My guess would be that greed is a factor. Greed seems to be the main factor in why anything sucks these days. It is why our food is over sized, juicy and colorful but has no nutrients, it is why our healthcare system only looks at the symptoms and not the causes and why our neighbors don’t smile anymore. Greed is ruling this world in a way that has never been seen before. But what happens when just one man has all of the eggs in his one large basket? Will money be worth anything anymore if nobody has any? Can we then start to trade grains of sand from the beach instead? We’ll carry around satchels on our waists with grain counters on our belts and purchase our smoke and brew with dirt as money will not be worth anything once it’s all gone. Has this always been the point of money, to get it all? Like Pokemons? Or will we start sharing again and lend our hands to our neighbors with no questions asked or thoughts of what they might do for us later on? If we just all help one another, all the time, we would always be helping, and we too would always be getting help. Imagine if only the people in your own apartment building or on your own street would help each other with one thing today, there would be a “Helping Time” set aside each day of the week the same way they have “Siesta’s” in other parts of the world when the sun is too hot to do anything. Those people get the same amount accomplished as we do, yet we are forced to work through the sleep time and fight the tiredness.
Anyone interested in helping should start right away, go knock on a door and see whats cookin in the next room over or across the street. This will also open up our communities and we can start to trust one another again. I keep hearing stories about the street my father grew up on where 20 kids in the neighborhood would be at his place each night after homework; and when parents looked out the window and saw that their child was not fighting with a sibling on the front lawn, they knew they were wrestling with my father and uncles on their front lawn or relaxing down in the basement. Let’s bring back these times! Let’s start community living all over again. The whole “grow as an individual” thing is being promoted constantly these days, and that’s great, we should all be individuals, but let’s also grow together.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole

The Fog!

i love the fog! this weather is amazing! for the first time in my life i can walk around with a safe feeling that the Vikings won’t find this great city of ours. The harbor is open to anyone with a boat, anyone willing to attempt an attack could easily infiltrate this city. The buildings have grown up higher than Citadel Hill, rendering its cannons useless. The navy has been dismantled and the two subs we have are no good either.
There is nothing stopping anyone from taking over, burning the villages and pillaging as they please.
We should definitely invest in a large fog machine for those bright sunny days where the landscape is illuminated, broadcasting to the whole of the Atlantic Ocean where our defenseless city rests.
I’m confident that the peace will not last. No, a Viking attack is inevitable, and when the time comes, our only hope will be the thugs and gangsters. We will turn to them for protection when our government lets us down, because lets face it, we are, the asshole of the country. The snots in Ontario can’t see past the end of their own noses, and the further westward you travel, the elitists only grow stronger. No, help will take days, perhaps even weeks before those fact cat bureaucrats in Ottawa make a move. They will have interviews and then hire a committee with a board of directors. They will hold meetings that could take weeks, secretaries and translators will need to be employed, one to organize the shit, the other to explain it to the rest of them. Oh politics, how many more people have to die before you realize that your ways are viciously outdated?
In the meantime, let’s all enjoy this wonderful protection we are receiving, free of charge, from mother nature.

Peace \ /
Dr. Jay Cole